An Open Letter To My Future Wife
Right now, at the time of writing, you might or might not have met me yet; but I just wanted you to know that even from today, I have vowed to love you with all my heart & soul, to always be there for you & try my utmost best to make you the happiest woman in this world.
By choosing to marry me, you’ve probably found a way to appreciate all the sweet little things that I’ll do for you from time to time to not find them annoying, the little notes that I’ll write you from time to time, the random poems, the random improvised songs on a guitar which I think are sweet & funny, but can actually be quite lame & childish at times, and the random surprises I’ll throw you in an attempt to brighten up your day.
The truth is, I’ve been practicing them all along on friends & random occasions, and I hope my skills would be good enough to make you laugh by the time I finally find you.
THANK YOU FOR BEING WILLING TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE WITH ME
I also want to thank you for having the courage to go on this long & exciting adventure, called life, together with me; especially when you’ve found out about my dreams & passion in trying to help Malaysia fulfill its full potential (story here) , in the process having to embark on the extremely challenging journey of entrepreneurship & start-ups (story here), in hopes of being able to build a world-class product that could leave a significant positive impact on the world, making it a better place while in the process attaining the financial & economic influence needed to make a difference in my country.
It’s hard. I know. It’s very hard.
Most would think that it is impossible, that I am hallucinating, that I am overestimating my abilities, or that I am only speaking of such a dream in an attempt to impress or satisfy my ego.
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING & SUPPORTING MY DREAMS
You would have had to have known me enough to know that my passion is real, that I truly care for others and making a difference in my country and I, of all people, am the last person that would ever say something just to impress others or satisfy my ego, because I am the sort who is comfortable in my own little introverted world.
Plus, with the tremendous amount of challenges & sacrifice, financial and mental, needed to achieve this, together with the fact that only 1 in 10 start-ups would eventually succeed, the fact that I am doing this in a region where the ecosystem is not entirely ready to build billion dollar companies, exits are relatively small, mainly comprised of localized versions of globally proven products, and even if I do succeed, there is no guarantee of me being able to make an impact, that achieving just one of these milestones might take me years to decades, and maybe even a lifetime, and would require me to give most of my wealth away, it simply makes no sense for me to do it if I wasn’t genuinely passionate about it.
You would know that every single day, I ask myself whether I am hallucinating, whether I am the right person to give this dream a try, whether I have what it takes, whether I am good enough, and whether I should just give up & live a simple & comfortable life as a lawyer, conventional investor or an investment planner.
But you would also know that I am doing all that I am doing not for myself, but because I feel that it is what God has called me to do, through an extensive series of events that happened when I first started having a personal relationship with God. You would know of my testimony, and know that although I have doubts about this from time to time, that God has always reassured me, that I have faith in Him.
Furthermore, you would also know that I think that life is short, and would like to live life to the fullest, have no regrets, and try my very best in everything I do. (Story here)
So this is me trying, despite my doubts about myself, because I believe in God, I believe in trying, and I believe in my ability to learn & do whatever it takes, that my best will forever be improving, that one day, hopefully it will be good enough, to at least try to make my dreams a reality, that the chance of it succeeding and lives it could impact would be worth it, and that no matter what happens, the journey will be a fun & exciting one, a roller-coaster ride, full ups & downs, one that I hope to embrace, cherish and share together with you, an adventure of a lifetime.
THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME
It must’ve taken a lot of faith for you to believe in my abilities, for you to care enough to find out more about me & my dreams, the reason why I am pursuing them, understand them, have faith in my extremely detailed step-by-step plan in achieving them and support me in my pursuit of them.
You must have gotten to know me pretty well to be able to believe in my ability to learn & achieve things, from the way I do things, react to things and my past achievements so far; and also to believe that I have the character to be a good husband & a good father, from my actions, from the way I treat people, the way I think, the way I hold true & act on my principles & values, react to situations and especially what I do or not do when nobody is looking or nobody knows.
I cannot promise you that I will be successful, but I can promise you that I will keep trying, will remain positive, and will give my best. I am confident in my ability to earn, learn & achieve from my past experiences, and am quite confident that we will have an amazing adventure and a comfortable life together, but for you to be able to see it and believe it as I do would require you really getting to know me over time and taking a leap of faith, therefore I thank you for that.
Furthermore, by now, we probably both understand that happiness doesn’t come from achievements or material wealth, it comes from within, from being contented, and having someone to share the joys of life together and having someone to support and encourage you during difficult times, having someone to be there for you and go on this long journey and adventure called life together no matter what happens. (More here)
We both would understand the simple fact that, as long as we are together, we would be happy; and this, is what’s most important.
THANK YOU FOR INVESTING YOUR TIME TO GET TO KNOW ME
I don’t know how you were able to do it, to believe in me, and to care enough to find out more about me. But I am glad you did, and I can’t thank you enough for it, which is why I think you are absolutely amazing, and would love you from the bottom of my heart until the day I die.
I really want to thank you for having such a big heart, to be able to accept me for who I am, for understanding my values & principles, and also to accept and love my friends as much as I love them.
Thank you so much for understanding that my friends are extremely important to me, and for understanding & sharing the values I believe in, to love God whole-heartedly & love people fervently. I know it is hard, that’s why it would’ve been very hard for me to continue to hold true to these values and live my life doing so if not for your love, encouragement & support.
As you would’ve probably also found out, I value my friendships a lot, and have many close friends, bros, and god sisters whom I am really close to and love. Thank you for understanding that I love them as my own siblings, and for accepting and loving them as you would a brother or sister-in-law, although they are not my real siblings. (Reason can be found here & here)
NO ONE CAN EVER TAKE THE SPECIAL PLACE YOU HAVE IN MY HEART
Thank you for understanding and realizing that although I love them a lot and would do a lot for them, more than some less loving people would do for their other halves, none of them can ever take your special place in my heart, that very special place that could only fit one person, which I have always been reserving for you.
That single most valuable place in my heart, that is reserved only for my soul mate, the most important person in my life, the person with the keys to my entire heart & soul, all my secrets and everything I ever knew of, the top priority in my life, the person who could heavily influence the decisions I make in life, the person I would always save first if my mom and the person, my god siblings or any other person fell into the sea and I could only save one, the person whom I would love with the most precious part of my heart that no one else can get access to, the person I would literally die for, and that person is you.
THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME
I also want to thank you for being patient with me, for taking some time to really get to know you before really making romantic advances and going after you, because I am not the kind of guy who would go after a girl just because she is pretty or attractive, because I am more attracted to someone’s heart & character, which would take me some time to discover, and also because knowing me, I would love the girl that I eventually decide to commit into a relationship with so much that even though I have strong & rational opinions of my own, I would probably give in to her wishes eventually if she insists on it.
She would have a very strong influence over my life & the decisions I make, in how I use my abilities, how I treat people and how I choose to live life, as you would probably have realized by now. That is why I thank you for your patience in understanding why I need to take some time to find out if you had the heart & character that would help make me a better person, be able to accept & love a person such as myself, and not abuse the influence you would have over me.
And of course, thank you for not being scared away by the sincerity, honesty and possibly intensity when I eventually went after you.
THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING MY FAITH
I would also like to thank you for attempting to understand the role God has in my life, that most of the principles & values I hold true, the things I do and pursue in life are largely influenced by Him. I do not know whether you are already a Christian right now, or like me before, a rationalist and skeptic still looking for answers, or simply enjoying life & not thinking about stuff like these at the moment; but I thank you for eventually attempting to understand why I do what I do & believe in what I believe in, and giving God a chance, in attempting to explore His love for yourself.
This is important to me because without your understanding, I wouldn’t be able to live a life where I put God first in everything I do, because knowing me, I would love you so much that you would be first instead of God, unless you too have found God for yourself, and believe that we should put God first, so we can embark on this exciting journey together where we put God first in our lives.
THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME
There is also a high chance that you, my beloved wife, could be my first and only girlfriend, because at the moment of writing, I am 24 and have yet to commit into a romantic relationship, despite receiving interests from potential suitors, because I have been holding out for you, someone who has the patience to truly get to know me and what I am up to, someone who has the capacity to understand and support my values, principles, and dreams, someone who would be willing to go on an adventure of a lifetime with me, facing the ups and downs might hold together.
Sometimes, I do wonder whether I am being too picky, whether I should hold out until I finally find you, but I realized that I should, because if I get into a relationship just for the sake of it, I might end up hurting the other person should they not be fully aware of the dreams, values and principles I hold, or do not have the capacity to understand or support them.
Hence, since there is a high chance that you could be my first and only girlfriend, I would have a lot to learn about being a good boyfriend and being in a relationship. So I’d like to thank you for loving me enough to guide me through it and hopefully make up for my lack of experience.
But don’t worry, if my history in other things is a good guide to fall back on, I should be a pretty fast learner, I hope.
Well, at this moment, I do not yet know how we would eventually meet; maybe we have, but I do not know it yet, but whatever the case, I would like to thank you for assuming the best in me from the start and not judging me too soon.
As you would probably have found out by now, I am a genuinely & sincerely friendly guy. I love meeting new people, getting to know them better and build lasting friendships. I would regularly check in on my friends, make sure I spend enough quality time with them, make sure I’ll be there for them when they need me, and I love to get to know people better individually over coffee, both guys and girls.
THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS ASSUMING THE BEST IN ME
Chances are you might have been one of them, so thank you for assuming the best in me from the start, and not thinking that I was overly friendly, having ulterior motives, insincere or was trying to impose my views on you by sharing what I have learnt & thought would be beneficial to share as some people would if a stranger did so.
Thank you for investing the time & having the faith required to know that I am indeed a sincere friend.
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY TOP PRIORITY
Now that we are married, thank you also for having such a big heart to care for my friends as I care for yours, to support me in continually checking in and spending quality time with my friends, being there for them, spending quality time with them, having coffee with them and continue to get to know more new friends, and joining me whenever you are free.
You might have also realized by now that although I care a lot about people, you will always be my top priority. You would always be at the top of my list of people to love and care about, to spend quality time with and to be there for, simply because you are my wife, my soul mate, the person I love the most and the most important person in my life, whom I have committed to spend the rest of my life with.
LOOKING FORWARD TO SHARING OUR LIVES TOGETHER
I also hope you’d share my passion for living life to the fullest and love the little adventures that I’ll bring you on, the random road trips, backpacking trips, luxury trips or just the random treasure hunt for good food, or some random crazy idea that we might come up with together like taking whichever is the first flight out of the airport (like these).
I might not know you yet, but I am looking forward to share your passions and interests with you, and I am pretty sure I’d love them too because I am a generally curious person who’d like to try anything at least once. Of course, it would be fun if you’d also attempt to appreciate my interests such as music, performing arts, good food, travelling, exploring new places, spending quality time in cooling places like mountains with a cup of hot coffee, and so on.
THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME FOR WHO I AM
Of course, I also want to thank you for accepting & understanding my flaws and imperfections, or at least tolerate them.
Things like my somewhat extreme swings in thought and behaviour depending on the situation that can come across as contradictory and hypocritical at first, like how I can be very serious when I am supposed to be serious, but surprisingly carefree and goofy when there is no need to, how I am actually a very emotionally based person, who can also be very logical when it is best to be logical, how I can be shy but yet friendly, how I can be conservative & careful most of the time, but embrace extremely high risks when there is a need to or within the limits I’ve prepared for, how I can be hyper, crazy and talkative sometimes, but quiet and emotional when I’m feeling moody.
You would also probably have found out by now that deep down inside, I am actually a very shy and introverted guy, a guy who din’t even dare to order KFC from the counter when he was young because he was afraid that the person wouldn’t sell him KFC.
It’s just that over the years, I’ve found the strength and the capacity to expand my circle of trust significantly by assuming the best in others and loving others sincerely, by understanding why people are the way they are, accepting them the way they are and also through the love of God, which allowed me to be the genuinely friendly and caring person I am today.
Thank you for understanding and accepting all these about me.
I also realized that I might not be as good looking as Lee Hom or Tom Cruise, but thank you for being able to find my tall and unique features, which I personally find to be quite alright, attractive. But more importantly, thank you for spending enough time to get to know my full character, personality, unique sense of humour and engaging me at that level, because that is where the true foundation of a successful relationship can be built, when all our beauty and physical attractiveness fades in years to come.
I don’t know when you will be reading this, but if we are really old by then, I hope we can be like one of those old, wrinkled couples in their 80s & 90s in the park, where anything else in the world would not matter anymore, where they’ll be happy as long as they have each other, where they do not need to say a word to know that they care and love each other, where the mere presence and company of each other is enough to make them smile & feel loved.
LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU SOON
Honestly, at this point, I can’t be entirely sure whether you even exist, or if you do, whether I’ll meet you before you’ve decided to give your heart to someone else. You might still be discovering what you want to do in life right now, in another relationship, in another country, or simply just living an awesome life.
But whatever the case, I just want to tell you that I love you, and thank you for choosing me as your husband, loving me, having the patience to get to know me, understand me, believing in me and being willing to go on an adventure of a lifetime together with me. You might not have realized that you have such a big & loving heart to love and accept someone like me yet, or you never believed you could, but I just want to you to know that I believe in you too, and I have faith that I will find you one day, and help you discover and realize how amazing you are.
Meanwhile, I will continue to search for you, and I look forward to the day I can find out more about you, love you, and start this adventure together, because I know it will be awesome.
Your Future Husband
P/S: I hope you don’t mind long letters :p
“If you manage to find the right partner, life would be like heaven on earth, and I’m glad I finally found you.”